I've heard you out there. You say it's stupid, it's just people talking about what they had for lunch. You don't understand what you could possibly say with only 140 characters. You don't get how you would spend any time on it. You hate it. You refuse to look at it.
You're a Twitter hater.
I'm not talking about the people that simply don't understand - I'm talking about the vehement ones, the ones that won't even look. The ones that have never actually gone to twitter.com, but claim to know exactly what it's about.
A pox on you.
If you're not on twitter, you're missing Shit My Dad Says. It's a 28-year-old man living with his 73-year-old father. His father? Is hilarious. Absolutely hilarious.
Top Chef Top Chef season 6 premiered on Wednesday. I love Top Chef. Padma always looks high, Tom has a weird goatee thing, the cheftestants are clearly insane, but I love it. And my favorite part of this ep? Guest judge Wolfgang Puck! Not only is he a great cook, he's hilarious! Throwing donuts, cracking up the other judges, he's awesome. Look at him! Doesn't he sound just like Frank (Martin Short) in Father of the Bride?
I was really glad the girl with the spacers went home. Her ears scared me. The French guy with the neckerchief cracks me up, and Michael is already on my shit list. Top Chef Masters My favorite dorky uncle Rick Bayless won! I was just glad Chiarello didn't win. He's such an ass.
Highlights: the judges make strange guttural noises. Ha!
Project Runway I don't care what station PR is on, I'll watch it. As long as my mentor, Tim Gunn, is on it. Make it work!
Ha, that Ari Fish, what a nutbar. I was kind of shocked she was sent home, they usually keep the conceptual people over the boring people. But she was just too conceptual.
I would like to point out that Miss Shirin Askari is from Garland, my hometown. I am rooting for her, just for that. She seems like she has a shot.
There is also a dude who has only one name, Epperson. Not really caring for the name, but he has the skillz, as the kids say. People already getting on my nerves: the Asian dude with the hair. You know which one I'm talking about. Yeah. His hair gets to me.
Brian in Alaska asks, We have this really pushy neighbor. She totally tells us what we should be doing and how we should be doing it. She is really generous, but she gives us things we don't really want or can't use. She would be mostly friendly if she wasn't so pushy, and Stephanie wants to make sure we are on good terms with the neighbors. I really can't stand her, but recognize we wouldn't want her for an enemy. How to handle her intrusions into our business?
Ooh, excellent question! I too have a nosy neighbor. She is kind of a, how do you say? Bee-otch. Yes. She is. But that is another story. In addition to being mean, she is also just nosy and very chatty and the kind of person who takes a "Hi, how you doin?" to mean an invitation to a 30-minute conversation. And by conversation, I mean she talks for 30 minutes while I nod my head.
Usually I just try to avoid talking to her whenever possible. You don't want to really piss her off, because, as you said, she's still your neighbor. You don't really want to rock the boat or do anything to make her mad. I'm sure she is a nice person with good intentions, she just takes it too far, to the point where her "advice" might sound patronizing and commanding.
So avoid her if you can. If John gets caught talking to our neighbor, I usually go rescue him by telling him I need his "help" inside. If you do have convos with her, keep them short. Make a point to end the conversation with an "I'm sorry, but I have to (check on the kids, go inside, etc etc)". Basically, you have to train her not to talk to you. If you're outside and she starts talking, go inside. Move to the other side of the house. Say you need to concentrate on what you're doing. You need to get her to subconsciously understand that you are not friends and you don't really want to talk. If she tries to give you something, say that you don't need it/can't accept it/already have one and go inside immediately. Don't give any concrete excuses or any information about why you need to leave the yard, go in the house, not accept her castoffs. Just leave. This way, she won't have any info to latch on to, you won't necessarily be lying, and she will be forced to redirect her pushy ways elsewhere. Maybe to her other neighbor. Score one for you!
If that doesn't work, say something that will shock her so bad she doesn't want to talk to you anymore. I used to use this all the time on my parents. (Haha, JUST KIDDING MOM! (or am I?))
what music are you listening to these days? reading?
Well, that's not really advice, but I will share anyways. As you know, I have impeccable/awesome taste. Here's a bit of what I'm consuming these days:
Reading: I just reread The Wonder Spot by Melissa Bank and am now rereading The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell. I like rereading books, it's comforting to me.
Listening: A lot of things. A lot of rap and pop, for running. I find a lot of cool music on pandora.com. I listen to Pandora through dora.fm, which is Pandora with Twitter so you can tweet the songs you listen to. It's like blip.fm. The station I created is called Mellow but it's got everything in it from Motown to Journey to Ludacris. I have ridiculous tastes in music. I hate country though.
Watching: Do you love TV? Me too. -Top Chef Masters and rooting for Rick Bayless, who reminds me of a dorky uncle. -Dance Your Ass Off because I'm a sucker for weight loss shows and dance shows and this is BOTH -The Closer -How I Met Your Mother, which never gets old. "Sandcastles in the sand..."
That's pretty much all of the media I'm consuming right now. I'm sure the TV will pick up when the fall seasons start and 30 Rock, The Office, Parks and Recreation, Desperate Housewives all come back.
It was all homemade except for the pickles. So not only am I full, but I am also exhausted.
After the tart, I wasn't all that hungry anymore, but I ate the rillettes and the accoutrements because it was SO GOOD. I kept telling everyone that I was going to throw up from eating to much. But I finished my dinner. And then I had a piece of cake. I know! I'm crazy! But look at that cake! It's so moist and delicious!
After everyone left, John and I laid in bed and bemoaned how terribly full we were. I started moaning to see if that would make me feel better, but that only made Buster come lick my face and stand on my stomach, neither of which helped me.
BUT! I have some exciting information! Kate told me that the sommelier at Il Sogno READ MY BLOG! OMG 34DFGH)r*(ugfklj! And he remember me! I am Internet famous!
So if you're reading Sommelier, hello! I wanted to go to dinner there on Friday, but I am afraid Il Sogno will be too busy! Alas! Some other time.
1. Do you have questions? Things that plague you? Problems with roommates, boyfriends, wives, mothers, coworkers, strangers, dogs, etc.? 2. Would you like someone to help you with those problems?
You are in luck! I am starting a new section of i go right for the blogular, called ASK LAUREN. It is, how do you say, an advice column. It has come to my attention that I am awesome and give great advice. Or, at the very least, I give funny advice. I can go either way with it. If I don't give you real advice, I'll give you funny advice.
Example:
Question: I am throwing a dinner party and I want to invite only a select group of friends. There's one couple that I don't want to invite, but they're friends with everyone else. Should I suck it up and invite them or not? If not, what do I say?
Funny Answer: Why don't you like them? Are they tools? If so, just tell them that you don't like tools in your house. End of discussion.
Real Answer: You can just suck it up and invite them if you think it would be less trouble. If you see them on a regular basis, this might be the most agreeable option. But if you don't see them often, you can get away with not inviting them. You could tell the others invited that this is a small event and you don't have the space to invite everyone. Or you could just not address it at all and assume that everyone will be an adult about it.
I am not an expert on really anything, but I can pretend to be. Or point you in the right direction. Or Google it. But then again, if I can Google it, so can you, so don't bother me with that shit.
So send me some questions! You can leave them as comments to this post, anonymously or not, or send them to me at laurenwthompson [at] gmail [dot] com.
This has nothing to do with this post, except it's pretty funny.
This weekend John and I: -took my rings in to get cleaned -Cleaned out the office -Was grumpy for a bit -Cleaned out the guest bedroom -Swept the house -Washed Buster -Took a nap -Took Buster to the vet -Bought some kitchen things -Ran a bit -Lifted weights -Washed all of the clothes in the world -Cleaned the kitchen for serious -Thought too much -Made very small plans for the house but they feel like A BIG DEAL because I am lazy -Though about blogging but couldn't think of anything to blog about -Did some cleaning which involved shoving things into drawers and closets -Did some yoga
I read a lot of books. John can attest to that. I like to read books I've read before. There's something comforting about knowing what will happen, how you will feel. It's like watching your favorite movie - you know everything already, but you watch it because it reminds you of a time in your life, or a person you know, or a feeling you get.
My love of reading only becomes problematic when I see movies based on books. I can really only think of one movie from a book that didn't disappoint me, While Oleander. They left out some of the plot points, but they retained the feeling and tone of the book without doing a frame-by-frame recapture, if that makes sense.
Which brings me to two movies coming out this year: The Lovely Bones and The Time Traveler's Wife. Let's start with The Lovely Bones:
The Lovely Bones is the story of Susie Salmon a girl murdered at the age of 14 in the 1970s. I'm not spoiling this for you, you learn this in the first line of the book, on the book jacket, in the trailer, etc. Susie narrates the book from heaven. She watches her family as they struggle to come to terms with her death, trying to find her killer, and how to live without her.
The Lovely Bones is a beautiful book. Alice Sebold has a way with metaphors that can take your breath away. I cried at the end of this book. It's very sad, but very sweet.
The other day I saw the trailer for The Lovely Bones, directed by Peter Jackson. Take a look. Pretty good right? It looks very true to the book, from the actors to the images of heaven, to the drama involved in finding Susie's killer. I'm excited to see this one.
Now, The Time Traveler's Wife.
The Time Traveler's Wife, by Audrey Nifenegger, is about a man named Henry who spontaneously travels through time. This is how he meets his future wife, Clare. He meets her when she is 6 years old and he's in his 30s. When they meet, he's from the future. They don't meet in real time until Clare is in college. The book is about their meetings with each other, his travel, how his travel affects their lives, how they must cope with a life from which he is absent from her in real-time, but visiting her in the past.
It's an intriguing book. The time travel is the premise, but it's used for dramatic purposes. This isn't a sci-fi novel, it's a dramatic story.
So what did they do? Turned it into a fucking rom-com, the 2009 version of The Lake House.
Does this look like a movie you'd really want to see? Does this look like anything other than a Sandra Bullock or Drew Barrymore movie?
Thanks for all the comments, everyone! Glad to have your support and to see that others are doing their own spending hiatuses. It's been an interesting journey for me, so I'm glad I could help other people with it.
Man, those three months really flew by, huh? What's that? You forgot that I started this blog to talk about my spending hiatus, because I stopped talking about it. That's true, I did. Why?
-It's boring to talk about not spending money. I didn't really do anything to fill the void of spending money, apart from not going to stores. So that's not that fun to talk about.
-I didn't stop spending money altogether. I did buy some stuff, some makeup, 4 dresses, a pair of shoes, some summer clothes, etc. So I guess I was a little ashamed of that and didn't want to tell you guys.
But here are some things I did do:
-I stopped going to Target as much, which saves me $50 for every visit. I swear, I can drop hundreds of dollars a month at Target, no problem. -I took the time to think about my purchases. One of the things I bought was a cocktail dress, because I don't really have one that fits anymore. But I will wear that dress to each of the 5 weddings I'm attending this year, so I reasoned that I will get my money's worth. So I try to think about how I'm going to use things when I buy them and if they're worth it. -I try to use coupons more. I used an Amazon gift certificate to buy my onion goggles. That wasn't really money spent. -I feel no qualms about returning stuff. This black dress that I bought? I returned it, because I felt bad about buying things I didn't need. -I reject even the smallest purchases. I bought a Rimmel eyeliner the other day cuz I needed one, but only one, even though they're like $2. I reasoned that I didn't need another one, no matter how cheap it is.
So I didn't stick to the spending hiatus whole hog, but I feel like I did spend a lot less money. I used to go to Target and World Market and wander around, just finding new things. I don't really do that anymore. I'm gonna try to stop doing that. I still have some debt to pay off, and I want to get an iPhone to replace the cell phone I've had since 2003, so I really want to buckle down now and save.
Spending hiatus over! Did anybody else try a spending hiatus? How's it going?
These are some onion goggles. They have padding around the eyes to prevent onion vapors from making you cry.
Yes, I am wearing these in a photo. And yes, I am wearing these in my office. And of course, I wore them during a presentation. That's just how I roll.
